LGBTQ Press

The moral responsibility of being out of the closet

 

Hi, I am Ashton Deroy. I am 24, a Business & Marketing student, a capitalist, a business writer for Toronto-Businessphere. I have worked mainly in Advertising & Tech. “Oh Yeah and I am really gay!” Sometimes people do ask me, “How are you so comfortable being out?” . To that I reply “I have been out for 8 years, it is as easy as breathing for me. 

I came out in 2010 at 17 in the small town of Brighton Ontario. A small, heavily religious and conservative community. Around the 3rd month of being out was my first bashing! From that point forward I knew I had to choose from being scared, or choose to do something. So in 2011 I joined the high school wrestling team and started working out. Did that make things worse in some ways? Yes, I’ve had everything implied about being a gay guy on the wrestling team. I’ve been called Pervert, fag, homo, sissy, queer, 

That all changed during a team mate to team mate competition where I got my first win. It was at that point I feel members of the team had started to respect my drive and stopped focusing on my sexuality! I must of been on the wrestling team for 1 year, I was never one of the best. However, the bullying stopped being physical. The odd verbal abuse happened, but no one wanted to fight me after learning a few simple movements that would knock the average person over. 

What would of happened if I didn’t come out? No one in my small town would of started standing up for the gay athletes, no one would learn to not assume weakness from sexuality and I would still be weak. This was the first time I knew being out was the right thing to do for my life. It would not be the last. 

Fast forward 5 years. I had been to community college, was working at a call center & wondering what to do with my life. 2015 in Brighton Ontario. 

Where are my peers at? They have kids, wives or divorces and messy lives! A few of the guy’s I went to High School with, now troll GrindR for discrete hookups (They are married!) They have family lives that are waiting to explode on the eventual surfacing of them being gay. 

This could of been my life, but I know Diana Skye, my grandma & Father have all said to me a few times they are glad this is not the road I chose to go down. You see, it is survival to be in the closet in a country that oppresses your freedoms. It is cowardly to do one in Canada given our current state of gay rights. For more on that click this wiki link! 

 

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